Monday, July 11, 2011

If you are reading this, I want to say that I am sorry.

I am sorry to have gone on about you the way that I have.

I know it seems juvenile, to have developed such a strong attachment after only two months with you.

It's ridiculous to me, too.

But that does not make this longing any less real.

I miss you.

I really do.

You understood me in ways that nobody ever had before we met, and there has been no one since.

In the two months that we had together, you knew me better than any of my oldest friends.

I know that your feelings for me were likely never as strong as my feelings for you.

The way that you left hurt.

It really hurt.

But I understand.

It would be a lie to say that I don't want you back.

I would do anything to look into your eyes again.

But that is only in my own interest.

I am glad that you got out of this place.

I am glad that you were able to go on and live out your dreams and desires.

As much as it pains me to say it, I am glad that you left.

You would not have been happy with me.

I could have never asked you to stay.

I still miss you.

My desire to be with you is still one of the most powerful emotions that I have ever experienced.

I know that these sentiments are no longer relevant to you and your new life.

But I want you to know that I'm sorry.

The way that I have carried on about this has not been fair to either of us.

This is the last entry that I will ever make about you.

I don't want to talk about us anymore.

I wish you the best for the future, and I hope that your happiness carries you through the rest of your days as it did throughout the short period during which I had the privilege of knowing you.

I'm sorry.

I am finished.

4 comments:

  1. You sure you want this on your blog?

    ReplyDelete
  2. ^To above poster: It's his choice. A blog is a personal site, you can put whatever you want. And if the author sees fit to write this entry so be it. I commend him...it takes a brave person to open up like this. Wish I had the same capability.

    Truthfully, your entry hits home for me. I found myself comparing elements of your story to someone from my past as well. Someone I dated for 2 months really got under my skin, and it took a long time to remove all traces of her from my system. In a way, I'm still trying to...but it does get better with time. Trust me. It will.

    Fans of cliches always say it is better to have loved than lost than to have never loved at all. Nobody ever told them losing it can cut you in two.

    Be well.

    ~SP

    ReplyDelete
  3. How you can find a place for the memories, without hurting too much over it soon. It's hard to let go of the thought of what could have been. Wishing you lots of happiness in the future. big hug

    ReplyDelete