Monday, February 14, 2011

I wish that I could experience life through the eyes of an artist.

I so frequently wish that I could look around at the world around me and see form rather than function.

I feel like half of all experience is lost to my mind.

I love art, in all of its manifestations.

But I can not make it.

I can not see it on my own.

Putting my emotions into visuals seems so simple in my head.

But when it comes time to actually do it...

I need an artist in my life.

I need someone here with me to show me this seemingly inaccessible portion of existence.

Someone to teach me how to better experience the color of being.

She was the closest that I have ever come to sight.

She was the closest that I have ever come to completeness.

My times with her were some of the most eye-opening and holistic moments of my existence thus far.

My senses were awakened; their range extended beyond what I had ever believed possible.

She was exceptional.

She was everything that I am not.

She was the rest of me.

But she is happier now.

I will remember her always.


The first beauty that I have ever known.


  1. If she's happier, you too should be.
    How do you know she is anyway?

  2. I am indeed quite glad that she is happy.

    But, even for someone as externalized as myself, it can be difficult to move on knowing that the other's happiness came at such a high price.

    But circumstance dictates to me that she is happier. She has gotten away from this place and is living a life of genuine discovery and experience.

    It was a complicated situation that, frankly, I have left mysterious for a reason. I wish that I could talk more about it, but I don't think that it would really make sense to those who were not involved.

    The emotion was too strong; too intensely personal.

    I feel like abstractions are the best that I will ever be able to communicate to others what I felt for her.

    But I do have my reasons for thinking that she is happier. I usually try my hardest to avoid angsty cliches, but in this I feel justified.

    And that's certainly not to imply that you have accused me of trite selfishness or anything of the sort. I'm just "talking out loud," I suppose.

    I hope that you are having a wonderful day.