Thursday, November 25, 2010

I have a bottle of my favorite wine in my room.

It has been sitting there, unopened and staring at me for over two months now.

I've been saving it for a "special occasion."

But...who am I kidding?

I am only 21 years old.

I am still so damn young.

I lack the maturity to back these romantic desires of mine.

I lack the self-establishment to be taken seriously by those to whom I would like to appeal.

Nobody wants a "troubled," bankrupt, college student who is just barely pushing into his twenties.

Damn my lack of age.


  1. I kind of want to say that I relate... but not so sure. I am in my mid twenties, also bankrupt, taking classes like if I just started, and kinda troubled too I guess. I feel like I do not have anyhing to offer anyone. I am not looking, but just thinking of having someone I would feel so unworthy, and like you not be taken seriously. I feel like I am just starting from the bottom and I am already 25! I feel like i cant relate to ppl my age, but also cant relate to ppl in my classes. So for me its not age, i'm not sure what it is... time? or my inability to be able to realize things about myself? really not sure.

  2. Yeah, I definitely have trouble relating to most people my age, as well. Especially other men. It is very difficult for me to pretend like I care about sports, and in the American southeast, that's just about all there is. Finding guys who I can relate to on a deeper level than that is a daunting task. It's certainly not impossible, but I feel like it's harder than it needs to be these days. It seems like almost nobody ever wants to talk about anything meaningful.

    I would say that time is also a big part of it. I spend so much time doing my schoolwork that I barely have enough time to cultivate the relationships I already have, much less look for new ones. I'm sure that you feel much the same way. 'Good time management" is so often promoted to me by my elders and peers as a solution to my stressed lifestyle, but it can be a difficult thing to take advantage of when the things that you have to manage take up the whole day every day.