Saturday, October 23, 2010

I went to a house party last night.

It was pretty crazy.

I didn't wake up until 1:20 PM today, which felt absolutely disgusting, but I had been awake for over 48 hours before falling asleep at 4 AM last night, so I guess it makes sense.

At this party, I had an interesting experience.

Just for reference purposes, I have a lot of gay friends, and I was one of the few straight people at this party.

So I was sitting on the couch with some people, when this girl who I had met earlier in the evening but not said a word to since came up to me, halfway sat down on the couch next to me (she was sitting on her knee facing me), and asked, "Are you straight."

"Yes," I replied, almost a little bluntly.

She hesitated for the smallest of a fraction of a second, and proceeded to ask, "Okay. How big is your dick?"

I was, one could say, a little surprised at the forwardness of the question. At a loss for words, I did not answer right away.

It's not so much that I did not want to tell her. I am not ashamed of the biology that I have been assigned, and she was clearly drunk enough to posit, with absolute sincerity, such personal discussions to a person whom she had never met before in her life. But there are some facets of my life that I just prefer to keep private.

After a short time, I answered with, "Who needs to know?"

"______ is over there in the back room, and she wanted to ask you but didn't want to do it herself. Would you like to meet her?"

I was pretty sure that we were on the same wavelength concerning the meaning of the term "meet" in this discussion.

I took another minute, during which she asked me again if I'd like to "meet" her, and I eventually just decided to be honest and said, "Well...I'm not about to have sex tonight, if that is what 'meet' means right now."

She just looked at me for a second, and then just nodded her head and said, "Oh...okay. Well..."

And then we just kinda sat there in awkwardness for a minute, after which I just resumed conversation with the friends I had been talking to. Then she simply got up and walked away.

I think that it's fair to say that that was one of the most surreal interchanges of my recent history.

3 comments:

  1. Solid proof that guys aren't the only ones who can be douche bag-ish....

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  2. Kudos to you for not jumping at the chance at an easy happy ending. We need more guys like you around.

    ReplyDelete