Friday, July 30, 2010

I am so angry, and I can not for the life of me figure out why.

I wish that I could just be comfortable.

My body is so tense.

I've been averaging four hours of sleep a night.

A "good" night, that is.

I've been getting headaches again lately, and my vision abnormalities are occurring with higher and higher frequency.

I'm to the point where I'm having trouble speaking.

I trip over my words almost every other sentence, and I oftentimes just have to stop mid-thought and start over because the sounds coming out of my mouth have become too unintelligible to fix.

I've come to several startling realizations lately, though.

My days these past few weeks have been riddled with moments of clarity.

There is something going on in my brain, and I haven't yet been able to determine if it is beneficial or just another low point.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

I wish that I was more physically able.

I wish that I could do impressive things.
I feel more comfortable in the driver's seat of my car than I do standing on my own two feet.

I hate getting out of that vehicle.
I had a dream about her last night, in the few hours that I managed to sleep.

It was the first dream that I've had in a long time.

It was...surprisingly good.

For a moment or two, my mind let me enjoy some of my memories without the searing pain of nostalgia.

It was a long dream, and she was there only briefly, but it was still wonderful.

However, I really can't say the same for the rest of the awoken day.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I feel tipsy and I have had nothing to drink.

I feel like I should be more worried about this.

If only I could sleep.

God damn, if only I could sleep...

You'll have to click on this one to see. Photoshop is not installed on this computer, and I'm not in the mood to size it.

All that I can do is sigh. I don't know why beef is such a big deal around here.

Oh, wait. Yes I do.


I think that The Neverending Story is an absolutely terrible movie.

It's creepy, poorly filmed, and Falcor is really just kind of scary.

You can tell me that it's a classic all you want.

That doesn't make it good.


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I find it interesting that eastern religions such as Confuscionism, Buddhism, and Daoism have managed to develop a governing moral code without the influence of an omniscient deity despite the Abrahamic religions (less so in Judaism, but still) constantly arguing that it can't be done.

I find it very interesting, indeed.

Monday, July 26, 2010

I don't think that I will ever forget.

The way that you looked at me.

The last time that you ever got out of my bed.

Saturday, July 24, 2010


Friday, July 23, 2010

I would rather lose my friends defending the things in which I believe than sit around constantly pretending like they are not important to me and stifling the passions that they instill in my veins.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

You know, I think that the phrase "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is actually complete bullshit, and people need to stop presenting it and it's many modifications to me as a solution to my longing.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Well, let's see how many more people I can run out of my life before the summer is over.

I've been doing a pretty good job of it so far.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I just purchased a handful of jelly beans out of a candy machine that was clearly labeled "Jelly Belly Jelly Beans," and they are very clearly not Jelly Belly brand jelly beans.

To be fair, they are a fantastic knockoff. They mimicked the colors of each flavor perfectly.

But they are still a cheap imitation.

I have been decieved, and I will not stand for this.


Monday, July 19, 2010

Ugh. I have felt absolutely terrible all day.

I guess that's what happens when you drink yourself to sleep.

But I don't think I would sleep at all otherwise.

Things are so fucked up right now.

I just want to vomit most of the time.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I could fucking scream.

Or just scream.

Or just fuck.

I don't even know anymore.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I just saw Inception and I don't think that I ever need to see another movie.

Except for maybe Tron Legacy. I can't wait for that. But I think that after that movies will be done for me.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

As silly as this is, I have to give them a little credit. This is the first time I've ever seen a southern church publicly exhibit any sort of uncertainty. You're typically not given a choice.

Regardless, the answer is no.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I've been on a huge hip-hop music kick lately.

Growing up, I didn't allow myself to listen to hip-hop because I had labeled myself a "punk gamer kid" and therefore wouldn't dare listen to anything but punk rock.

I have since then grown up quite a bit, and hip-hop is now one of my favorite genres. Hip-hop is one of the few types of music that makes me not want to listen to anything else. I have a hard time switching from hip-hop to other genres. Hip-hop rhythms are just so beautiful.

Like this song, for example.


Monday, July 12, 2010

You asked me as we lay in my bed in the middle of the night:

"Is there anything that I could do that might...make it worse?"

I hesitated as I stared back at you through the darkness into your big, gorgeous, fascinating eyes.

And you gazed right back at me, patient as you always were when my mind and mouth refused to collaborate in expressing the thoughts that were always so clear in my head.

Briefly, I was lost in you.

Briefly, the question vanished.

Then, after a time, I came to the realization that for the first time in my life, the truth was irrelevant.

I knew from the moment I first laid eyes on you that it was already too late.

The wheels of causality were already in motion.

I didn't care.

No price could have been too much to pay for the time that I had with you.

"No," I lied.

"I don't think so."

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I'm tired of this falling feeling.

Every step that I take feels like slamming my head into the floor.

Friday, July 9, 2010

I can't get this beat out of my head.

I can't stop tapping my heel.

I can't get this desire for you off of my skin.

Monday, July 5, 2010

I am currently in Savannah, Georgia with my family, and all that I want to do is read about physics.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Fourth of July, America.

Enjoy the land that we so violently wrested from the natives in the name of manifest destiny.

I mean, I guess we did deserve it. It was our God-given right to come over here and kill these people and destroy their cultures, after all. And how dare the British government even consider trying to tax us after they helped us win the French and Indian War. Who the hell do they think they are? I'm sure that slavery and minority exploitation in building the country was also justified by a divine instruction. I'm sure it all had a good, reasonable, bigoted explanation.

Silly me.

Why would I ever question this country's history? I always forget that all that matters now is that we're here and that we're a powerful, important, condescending bully.

Why would I be racked with guilt and embarrassment from the behavior of our ancestors?

Silly me.

This is the funniest grafitti that I have ever seen. I found this on a bathroom wall in Greenville, SC.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Bob Jones is a fundamentalist Baptist bible college in Greenville.


Saturday, July 3, 2010

Splash loose pharmaceutical

Well, I certainly don't feel like somebody who just stayed up until 5am playing his PSP in bed last night because he couldn't fall asleep to save his life.

Dear My Stupid Head,

I am so tired of this. Shut the fuck up.


The Rest of Your Body

Friday, July 2, 2010


I have a twitter account.

I've actually had this account for a long time for the purpose of keeping up with webcomic artists, but I have never really used it.

But I'm going to start using it, I think. I'll probably use it to announce updates here now that my posts are less regular, and for other general things as I feel it is appropriate.

So, if you are interested, here you go.


Thursday, July 1, 2010

When people find out that I am a vegetarian, the most common question that I get asked is, "Oh, really? Where do you get your protein?"

I used to go into this big long explination of how adults don't need as much protein as the American media tells us we do, and that a well balanced diet will supply enough protein without a whole lot of need for extraneous protein-harvesting eating habits. Only 8 out of the 20 proteins required for cell function are supplied by diet, anyway. The rest are mostly naturally occuring.

But I'm getting tired of saying all of that every time, because people usually just don't believe me.

I guess it's because around here "vegetarian" is synonymous with "attention whore." It's a foreign concept in this area that somebody would forego a serving of meat for any reason other than mental instability.

So I have a new response.

Q: "Oh, really? Where do you get your protein?"

A: "Everywhere that you don't."