Monday, May 31, 2010

I have purchased a lot of music over the course of this past week. A lot.

List (album - artist):

"O" Volume 1 - Operatica
Emblem [Selected Pieces] - Amethystium
Unsupervised - Mono Puff
Rooty - Basement Jaxx
Kish Kash - Basement Jaxx
Digital Reflex - Various artists (label compilation)
Synchronized Decompression - KJ Sawka
Reimagining - Vijay Iyer
Pitty Sing - Pitty Sing 
(This one was interesting in that I found it on a shelf marked down to 50 cents, brand new and unwrapped. I figured at that point I had to buy it. Also, the review from Insound on the front of the wrapper helped: "If this music was any lusher, we'd have to fuck it." How could I resist?)
Essential Lounge - Moist Music (Various artists)

Essential Lounge is the crowning jewel of this week's haul. I maintain a deep fondness for lounge music, and 36 tracks for ten dollars brand new is an unbelievable deal. I'm about to say something that is likely to get me crucified on the internet: This is why I support record labels. Yeah, there's some shifty shit that goes on behind the scenes, but every now and then, you find a gem like this, and to me, that occasional find makes it worth paying for all of my music. I also just like to have physical representations of the products I buy. I like to have something (particularly a something of a high quality, lossless audio format) to show for my vanishing currency.

Anyway, I really like all of these albums, which is really awesome, considering that I knew nothing about any of them when I bought them (aside from Rooty by Basement Jaxx, which was purchased on a return trip to the store after buying Kish Kash). One of my favorite things to do is go into music stores and head for their last-chance bargain bin and pick a few random albums.

It's rare that I like them all, though, so I've just been on a roll this week.

Grand total spent: $26.50


Saturday, May 29, 2010

I just watched the Machinist starring Christian Bale.

It was an excellent film, and I highly recommend it.

Mmm...if only you were here right now.

Oh, the things that I would [sensually and gradually work up to before gently asking permission to] do to you.

Friday, May 28, 2010

I have been absolutely addicted to this song lately.

I can't stop listening to it.

Oh so good.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

In the words of Mouse from the blockbuster hit film The Matrix:

"To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human." I only to figure out why it is that I spend every minute of every day doing exactly that.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


"My feeling is that if you're not prepared to read ideas that are not your own and you might disagree with, you do not belong at an institute of higher learning."

-Jennifer Daum
 from Irshad Manji's The Trouble with Islam

Monday, May 24, 2010

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

-Mark Twain

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I have just recently discovered the joy and comfort that is wearing my high-top Converse All-Stars without socks. I always wear socks, but the other day I was in a hurry and just threw them on my bare feet and was immediately transported into a world of pedal bliss the likes of which I have never before experienced.

Okay, that's a little extreme, but it's like these shoes are meant to be worn without socks.

...and maybe they are!


Also, this


Saturday, May 22, 2010

I have been really craving a carbonated lemon-lime beverage for the past couple of days.

The only problem is that I'm craving it out of glass, sweetened with natural sugar, which is something that I can not get around here.

So I guess I will just crave on to eternity.

Also, I can not wait to move somewhere where I can be out of this weather. Somewhere where it is not scorching hot and drowningly (to coin a term) humid for ten out of the twelve months.

I can not wait.






Friday, May 21, 2010

Sigh...I don't have much to say right now.

I've spent my summer days so far sitting around in my room listening to lectures online, playing Street Fighter, and burning incense.

And then at night I watch documentaries and read non-fiction.

Clearly, I am living my youthful life to it's fullest.


Thursday, May 20, 2010


I just watched "Expelled: No Intellegence Allowed" starring Ben Stein.

Let me just say that anytime you make a documentary "starring" a big-name celebrity as your host, you are setting yourself up to be criticized. Documentaries should not "star" anyone. If Ben Stein is your host, then fine, Ben Stein is your host. But the star of a documentary is the content presented, not the content presenter.

Now, about the actual documentary. I hesitate to say that I have never seen anything so slanted in my life...but...I have never seen anything so slanted in my life. At least not in feature-film documentary format. The film does make a few good points, and it does encourage you to think about possible problems and tenacities within the current scientific environment, but the picture that the documentary tries to paint is blatantly clear: Darwinists are evil, stubborn, power-hungry maniacs who trod without hesitation upon the humble, defenseless supporters of intelligent design.

It is flagrantly biased every step of the way, despite half-hearted attempts to seem fair and objective, and it uses dramatic music, extreme and sometimes nigh unrelated imagery, and even several appeals to senseless, feel-good patriotism in an attempt to sway the emotions of the audience. These emotional appeals are frustrating, as they are clearly attempts to persuade the audience without having to fully address the larger issue at hand: Is intelligent design science? The movie focuses simply on the fact that intelligent design is "being oppressed" (a fact which I am not yet ready to concede, given the obvious bias of the film) without giving any consideration as to why, assuming that it is, that that may be the case. For a group of individuals (to clarify, those in support of intelligent design) who constantly attack neo-Darwinists for settling on a theory that "answers the 'how' questions but none of the 'why' questions," this is a fascinating idiosyncrasy.

I am tempted to share my thoughts on intelligent design and why I do not believe that it should be considered science, but that is for another time, perhaps.

Now, all of that being said, I am not saying don't see the film. As I said earlier, there are a few good points sprinkled here and there. Overall, it is at best unreliable and inconclusive, but it is still worth a viewing, in my opinion. Just be careful. Do not fall into their trap and align yourself with their argument simply because they compare Darwinism to Hitler's reich. If you watch the film, think about it critically, and then if you still feel that you agree with them, fine. But think about it. Do not simply let them tell you what to believe.


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My car won't start...

That sound of failure as I turn the key is like a physical sensation to me.

I think it's either a dead battery or a bad alternator, as the engine doesn't even start to turn over.

Let's hope that it's just a dead battery.

I had something else to talk about, but I can't remember what it was right now.



Monday, May 17, 2010

I sit here in my room, staring at the smoke coming from the stick of kewra incense smouldering in its stone burner.

The smoke wafts across my vision, illuminated by the soft, electric light of my television.

As the smoke nears my Playstation, it is jerked upward from its lazy path by the warm air currents emanating from the machine's fans, only to dissipate completely into the air, vanishing quickly from sight.

As I stare at this system of gentle yet profound chaos, I find it harder than usual to control my emotions.

Also, watch this. It pretty much loosely sums up my opinions about "what science is."

It's something that I get asked about a lot.


Sunday, May 16, 2010

I went and saw Iron Man 2 last night with my parents.

It was pretty good, but I don't think I like superhero movies anymore.

Sure, they are certainly exciting while I'm watching them, but they make me feel so insignificant afterwards.

For a couple of days after the fact, they serve as a reminder to me of the ultimate meaninglessness of my life.

Anyway, the movie inspired me to purchase one of these fancy things.

I'm not going to lie, I'm a real sucker for modernistic design.

And I need a good water bottle.

And I believe in their cause.

And I'm justifying. Justifying with truthful reasons, but justifying nonetheless.


Saturday, May 15, 2010

Salon Story

I went to the salon today and got my hair cut. Yes, I go to a salon. Yes, I have a regular stylist.

I take good care of my hair.

Anyway, I had an interesting experience at the salon today, which I will now convey through a conversation that I had with a friend of mine about it earlier:

(5:47:36 PM) Oxymoronic: ugh
(5:47:40 PM) Oxymoronic: finally back
(5:47:49 PM) Amanduh: how'd it go?
(5:48:02 PM) Oxymoronic: great
(5:48:09 PM) Oxymoronic: I'm all sexy and neat now
(5:48:16 PM) Amanduh: fabulous.
(5:48:18 PM) Oxymoronic: well...probably minus the sexy
(5:48:25 PM) Oxymoronic: I had a weird experience in the salon
(5:48:25 PM) Amanduh: ahah
(5:48:27 PM) Amanduh: awes.
(5:48:29 PM) Amanduh: ooo
(5:48:30 PM) Amanduh: do tell.
(5:48:43 PM) Oxymoronic: well, first of all, my stylist and I talked about Twilight the whole time
(5:48:58 PM) Amanduh: ..hmm..
(5:49:08 PM) Amanduh: that;s.. different.
(5:49:13 PM) Oxymoronic: yeah
(5:49:30 PM) Oxymoronic: but at one point, she had me turned around
(5:49:35 PM) Oxymoronic: and was entering me from behind
(5:49:42 PM) Oxymoronic: just kidding
(5:49:44 PM) Amanduh: entering you? 
(5:49:45 PM) Amanduh: omfg.
(5:49:48 PM) Amanduh: >.<
(5:49:52 PM) Amanduh: gees hayden!
(5:50:03 PM) Oxymoronic: but she had me turned around, and was cutting the back of my hair
(5:50:11 PM) Amanduh: yes..
(5:50:16 PM) Oxymoronic: and this old woman in the seat next to her happened to be facing me
(5:50:26 PM) Amanduh: hahaa
(5:50:41 PM) Oxymoronic: like, she was to my left
(5:50:57 PM) Oxymoronic: and at one point my stylist moved and the old woman said, " I have a good view."
(5:51:04 PM) Amanduh: LOL
(5:51:12 PM) Oxymoronic: and in my head I was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
(5:51:17 PM) Amanduh: hahahah
(5:51:20 PM) Oxymoronic: and then my stylist joked around with her
(5:51:26 PM) Amanduh: did you get her number? ;)
(5:51:30 PM) Amanduh: you hunk!
(5:51:33 PM) Amanduh: lololololol
(5:51:53 PM) Oxymoronic: I guess it wasn't that creepy
(5:52:00 PM) Oxymoronic: it actually felt kinda good
(5:52:01 PM) Oxymoronic: kinda
(5:52:15 PM) Oxymoronic: but it was still not what I expected from my salon visit today
(5:52:15 PM) Amanduh: ego boost?
(5:52:27 PM) Amanduh: ahahha
(5:52:31 PM) Amanduh: well, it sounds like..
(5:52:34 PM) Amanduh: a fun violation.
(5:52:38 PM) Oxymoronic: haha
(5:53:01 PM) Oxymoronic: eh, violations are welcome
(5:53:25 PM) Amanduh: ..... tsk tsk
(5:54:40 PM) Oxymoronic: hey, it's not like I'm getting them from women my age
(5:54:47 PM) Oxymoronic: I might as well enjoy them when I can
(5:54:51 PM) Amanduh: sure..
(5:54:57 PM) Amanduh: and im sure she's experienced.
(5:55:04 PM) Oxymoronic: bahaha
(5:55:10 PM) Amanduh: ;)
(5:55:12 PM) Oxymoronic: okay...let's stop there
(5:55:17 PM) Amanduh: no no..
(5:55:18 PM) Amanduh: lets not.
(5:55:19 PM) Amanduh: haha
(5:55:35 PM) Oxymoronic: as...appealing as this fantasy is, I really can't afford to get all riled up right now
(5:55:40 PM) Oxymoronic: we're about to go to a movie
(5:55:51 PM) Amanduh: oh.
(5:55:55 PM) Amanduh: i shall stop giving you images.
(5:55:58 PM) Amanduh: what movie?
(5:56:15 PM) Oxymoronic: Naughty Grannie Whores 7
(5:56:21 PM) Oxymoronic: or maybe Iron Man 2
(5:56:23 PM) Oxymoronic: we're not sure yet
(5:56:24 PM) Amanduh: LOLOLOLOLO
(5:56:31 PM) Amanduh: oh youuu 
(5:56:32 PM) Amanduh: lol
(5:56:43 PM) Amanduh: i kow which you'd prefer ;)'s not true, I swear!

I want her.

I want her.

I want her.

My manic desire to be with her again is preoccupying my every thought, and I hate myself for it.

Friday, May 14, 2010

This sort of eloquence is one of the reasons why Richard Dawkins is one of my heroes.





Thursday, May 13, 2010

I have reawakened my deeply repressed love for strawberries.

They are so good and tasty and sexy.

But they can sometimes be inconvenient because you are often left with the little stem at the top and miss out on a bit of the fruit.

But they are delicious, and I love them.


If this place is so conducive to slumber, why is it that I still can not sleep?

I really don't know where the hell my mind is right now.

Earlier, whilst out and about, I parked my car, got out, and took several steps away from the vehicle. I suddenly felt a tension in the back of my neck, and turned around to witness my vehicle simply rolling away from its parking spot.

I had forgotten to set the parking brake. I had forgotten to leave the car in gear. I had just turned the vehicle off and jumped out.

That never happens. Being in that car is one of the few times during my day that I am able to focus myself.

Resolving the issue was of no inconvenience. I simply walked up to the car, opened the door, and pulled the e-brake.

It was not a big deal, but I'm disappointed that my mind is so scattered right now that I can't even focus on one of the few things that I truly enjoy.


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

This silence feels so good against my ears.

I had forgotten what is was like.

And this darkness...

This pure, true darkness feels so smooth upon my eyes.

To stifle even just two of my senses is such a beautiful relief from the fury that occupies my nights.

The liberation from the rampant, uncontrollable thoughts that ordinarily assail my mind during these forgotten hours is like the feeling of cold silk against my fingertips.

The thoughts are still there, certainly.

But only fractionally.

What a wonderful thing.

This pillow, however, could stand to be a little more comfortable against the back of my head.

Luckily, that is a problem that is readily solvable.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I had a sex dream last night.

I don't have those very often, and, frankly, it was wonderful.

Although, things did get a little weird when I had to take a break to kill a witch with a katana.

Then, just as we were about to get back to it, I woke up.

I woke up in my uncomfortable bed in my parents' home, fighting back the urge to cry out in frustration.
All I've wanted to do since I got home is play my drums.

Today was the first chance I got to play them, and I did not play them.

Instead I decided to sit around the house, listen to podcasts, and stare at my computer screen and occasionally walk around aimlessly.

This is the worst that I've been in a while.

Maybe tomorrow I can work up the motivation to do some of the things that I love.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I'm listening to the first Ramones album on vinyl. It's so good. Listening to the Ramones invokes in me so many good memories from middle school. Although my middle school experience, like most peoples' own experience, was a terrible era of my past, there were certainly good times that I shared with my friends playing video games and listening to punk rock and pretending we were the shit when really we were the kids that got made fun of by the popular crowd and we knew it.

This music, those games, and my friends at the time really got me through some hard times. I have since learned how to deal with my hard times on my own, but I would have been absolutely lost back then without my loved ones.

Anyway, trite introspection aside, there's something absolutely entrancing to me about the Ramones. Their music is absolutely engaging in its complex simplicity, and there is something about Joey Ramone's vocals that just drip with angst and anger that is clear without being too "in your face." While I'm sure that many from the older generation will disagree with me, there is a subtlety of earnest emotion in the Ramones' music that many other groups of the same sort seem to lack. Their songs are fast and lighthearted, but there are strong undertones of misunderstanding and not fitting in.

Maybe it's the nostalgia speaking. Maybe I'm imposing my own emotions onto their music. But maybe that still has a lot of worth. Maybe art is worthless without personal interpretation and internalization.

Also, I love the sound of the Ramones' crash cymbal in many of their songs. It's just so quick and blunt and flat without any reverberation.

Listen for it in "Blitzkrieg Bop." You'll see what I mean.

In fact, just listen to "Blitzkrieg Bop."

It's good for your health.


Sunday, May 9, 2010

We went to Greenville today to see some of my sister's art on display in a gallery at the Governor's School.

When she came down to meet us, in what she was wearing and how she was holding herself, she looked just like her.

The mind-numbing flashbacks only hurt for a minute or two, but I had trouble thinking about much else for the rest of the visit.

Saturday, May 8, 2010


I know I didn't post yesterday. I've been moving out of my apartment.

New post tomorrow, I promise.


Friday, May 7, 2010

I'm pretty sure I've linked this here before, but this song is just so gorgeous.

Aout (ft. Julia) by Hedgehog Dilemma

I do not want her anymore.

I do not want her anymore.

I do not want her anymore.

Oh my God, I want her so very badly right now.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

This is an excellent lecture, and I highly support the promoted philosophy. I encourage you to watch it.

So is this one.

And this one.

And this one.

Let me start this post by stating what I believe are two well-justified opinions. First, racism is still a huge world issue. Racism, while certainly prevalent in the U.S., is a far-reaching and international mar on society and is still affecting decisions and attitudes across the globe. Second, if you have managed to trick yourself into believing that this is not the case and that we have "gotten over racism" as a world society, then you are simply out of your mind.

I recently re-watched the Matrix trilogy. The Matrix movies are some of my favorite movies of all time (yes, all three of them), and the Matrix universe is probably my favorite fictional setting. I've spent a lot of time investing myself in its lore.

But this time through, I noticed something that I had previously been unable to notice. I'm not sure if it was because of the mindset that I was in when I previously watched the movies, or if the execution of the theme was just that masterful.

I noticed that the people in the Matrix movies are comprised of a huge range and variety of races.

And the most beautiful part of it is that it does not matter. No attention is drawn to this fact. That is just how it is. Individuals are not "white" or "black" or "Asian" or whatever other race they may happen to be. They are just people. I had not really noticed this upon my first few viewings of the movies (probably because I was younger and was too busy mentally orgasming over the fight scenes), but this time it really struck home as a beautifully subtle theme throughout the movies.

This realization instilled a question in my mind: When are we going to get over race?

When will we as a society be able to look past it? When will we all be able to stop making racist and sexist jokes about each other? When will we finally eradicate these deep seeded attitudes of racism, sexism, and nationalism that are so prevalent in many of our world cultures? When will people just be people?

Now, I understand that there are differences. Of course there are cultural differences between races. It is of utmost ignorance to imagine a society in which there are no differences whatsoever between races. I believe that the differences between our cultures are of crucial importance in our ever expanding path towards philosophical and intellectual enlightenment. I know that there are distinct differences and that there always will be. I want there to always be differences. But when will we start respecting each other for them?

When will we stop being afraid?

Is the Matrix a prediction of the answer to these questions? Is it going to take an apocalyptic scenario for us to finally get over ourselves and work together? Is the threat of extinction the only thing that can motivate us to action?

I'm not asking that we give up our cultural and racial identities in the interest of a perfect utopian society in which there are no disagreements.

I'm just asking that we give up these attitudes seeded in hatred and fear and learn how to learn from each other.

I'm just asking that we learn how to love.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

"The infliction of literalism on us by fundamentalists who read the Bible without seeing anything but words is one of the great tragedies of history."

Isaac Asimov
Excerpt from Gold

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I know that everybody always makes fun of this kind of stuff, but I don't really know why. I find it entrancing and physically exciting to watch.

It's just so full of energy and fun.


Monday, May 3, 2010

I wish that there was somebody in town who would play Street Fighter with me.

Or something.

It just gets so lonely here in this empty room full of things.

Jicama is delicious!

I've had it before, but never just plain, and it is really good. Why don't people eat raw/plain foods more often. They're really good, and almost universally better for your health.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Well, I went out last night with some friends of mine to get sushi and sake, and, I have to say, that was the first time in a while that I have really enjoyed myself. And not just because of the sake, either. For the first time, I felt like an adult. There is this whole new world of scenes and locales of which I can now be a part. It just feels good, I guess.

Anyway, I went out and purchased Super Street Fighter IV yesterday, and, just as expected, it's awesome so far. If anybody wants to play online, just send me a message. My PSN username is Oxymoronic.