Monday, April 26, 2010

I have come to despise this body of mine.

This body that must be fed.

This body that must sleep.

This body that so greedily hungers for air; consistently, and without prejudice.

This body that is such a hopeless victim of the tyrannical restrictions of gravity.

This body that has such vehement desire for certain...carnal delights.

As a young man, I certainly used to relish these desires.

I still do, from time to time.

But lately, I have come to despise them, as well.

I have come to feel that they are not my own.

The desires of this physical cage are simply the end results of eons of evolutionary psychology and millennia of societal conditioning upon which I had no influence. I did not have any choice as to which society into which I was born. Why should I be expected to simply be a sum of the collective parts of someone else's whole? Why are people afraid to question what they know?

I do not want these desires anymore.

They have begun to feel almost alien in origin.

I am tired of satiating the constant needs of this infinitesimal, clumsy, pathetic representation of my being.

I yearn for a reality in which I could exist separate from my body.

A reality where I could exist simply as a series of synapses and electrical impulses, and perhaps the necessary ethereal qualities that define and sustain a mind.

A reality in which I could exist as a consciousness with limitless potential for thought.

Potential not so hindered and broken as the potential to which I am currently limited by this unfamiliar, almost foreign form.

What a thought.

What an exhilarating thought.

But...I suppose that this reality for which I yearn will forever remain a simple yearning.

A fantasy, if you will.

So, I suppose that for now I should just suck up my disappointment and, despite knowing that I probably never will, try to acclimate myself to living within the confines of these carnal walls.

1 comment:

  1. Well... I will tell you that that is what I feel happens. How do we know that does not happen? How would one know that there is nothing after death. I am not saying anything religious.

    What happens to our mind, our conscious, when we die? I don't believe we die. Our bodies will physically die, yes. Bodies grow old and wither until they die, but does our conscious (or mind or whatever one wants to call it) really just die? Or do we inhabit other bodies to live in this physical world?

    Perhaps there is more knowledge that one has but is unable to really reach it in this current body because the brain just doesn't allow us to zip info into it with a snap of a finger. Perhaps once our conscious is free of this body all the knowledge will flood back, and stay with us. At least until one inhibits another body. (don't know if that makes sense)

    Nobody knows for sure what happens to our conscious when the body dies... everybody has their own thoughts on that... so really, can we just dismiss this thought? Some will, some won't. One never knows.