Monday, November 9, 2009

I had a very interesting ride back to Columbia today. Two things of note happened, as opposed to the typical zero.

First, I stopped at one of my favorite fueling stations on the way here to use their restroom facilities. After I was finished, however, I decided that I needed something to eat. I was going to grab a hot dog, but as I was grasping the tongs, I noticed a fleeting vision in the corner of my eye. The Piccadilly pizza booth that is typically quite bare was full of delicious bounty. I quickly dismissed the hot dogs and leaped to the booth. After much deliberation, I decided on a box of boneless buffalo wings. I snatched the box up and headed to the register. Upon arriving in front of the clerk and taking out my wallet, he examined my selection and continued on to say, "You know...I'm just going to let you have those."

I was shocked, and said, "Wow. Are you sure?"

He said, "Yeah. They've been out for several hours now, just so you know. So I'll just let you have them."

So I thanked him and left with my newly acquired snack. They were delicious. They were solid chunks of manifested heartburn, but for the novelty of gas station food, it was worth it. I've never really just gotten anything for free like that before.

Also today, I was changing lanes to pass someone, and as I changed lanes, some wild and crazy man in an old beaten up crap heap shot up behind me at at least one hundred miles per hour. He had to decelerate so harshly that I could visibly see his hood dip under the force. He was inches from rear ending me, and he had the audacity at this point to FLASH HIS BRIGHTS AT ME TWICE!

I'm sorry, sir. I'm sorry that I was driving how I was supposed to. I'm sorry that I kept you from reaching escape velocity.

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