Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Columbia, SC State Fair

So I went to the state fair this past tuesday, and all I have to show for it is this horrifying picture.

This is really getting out of hand.

But the fair was fun. I went with my girlfriend and a friend of her's, and I think it's safe to say that we all had a pretty good time. I went in skeptical (I haven't been to a fair since I was a young lad in Maryland), but came out a satisfied customer. Most of my fun stemmed came from eating crazy foods such as fried Oreos and fried Pepsi. The mechanical engineer inside of me won't let me ride carnival rides. I know too much about how easily something like that can be fucked up because somebody was lazy or in a hurry.

As for fair games, I didn't play any of those either. Luckily, my girlfriend is not the kind of girl who demands that I win her a prize and I am not the kind of guy who feels he must win fair prizes for his woman to verify his manhood. I almost got conned into playing Whack-a-Mole because I was promised a giant stuffed Sonic the Hedgehog, but then I realized that you first had to win a small prize, find thirty items off of a scavenger hunt list, do a double backflip, juggle five flaming, electrified chainsaws, prostitute yourself at discount prices, and then win again to actually get a big prize. I decided after some deliberation that I was still going to go for it, and as I approached the stand, some excited little kid ran up to one of the competing booths next to me and grasped the mallet with such innocent and juvenile fervor that my entire chest cavity seemed to buckle under the weight of the cuteness before me. The child's mother payed the worker at the stand and they waited for the game to start. I couldn't bring myself to play after that and just walked away. They really need to add "crush a young child's dreams" to their list of requirements for winning a large prize.  

I also finally found some of the ever elusive lemon-lime Tootsie Pops while I was at the fair. I bought three. I had one yesterday, and I have to say...they're not great. Lemon-lime and Tootsie is not the greatest of combinations.

We also went to the petting zoo while we were there, which was pretty depressing. I'm not about to run off and join PETA or anything, but being in that petting zoo and seeing all of those exotic animals in their tiny, unkempt cages gave me a terrible feeling in my stomach. There is something inherently wrong with ripping animals out of their natural habitats, and containing them in little tiny cages so that little children can enjoy looking at them for the few minutes that they manage to stay interested before wanting to go ride the tilt-a-die-your-face-off again. I'm okay with zoos. Animals at zoos are shown proper care and are given appropriate living space. Animals at state fairs are not.

I enjoyed the fair a good bit, though. I really liked walking through the giant display of local art. There are some really talented people in Columbia.

I guess that's all.


1 comment:

  1. prostitute yourself at discount prices.

    most definitely made my day.
    such pleasure comes from your blog!