Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The end?

Yeah, I don't really care enough about this blog to even attempt a regular schedule. Honestly, I don't know where I got the idea that the world cared enough about my opinions to post them online. If I do anything else, it will probably be in the form of a podcast. I'll post the website if I ever actually get it up.

So I guess that's all from me for now.

Gone.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Geek?

You know you're a geek when you get an adreneline rush because of a close chess game.

New blog coming soon.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Fail.

This alone is reason enough to spend the extra hundred and get a PS3 instead.


Gone.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

The Apartment

Well, I've been at school for just over a week now, and I thought I would post some pictures of my new room. It's an apartment style dorm that I'm sharing with two other guys. The room consists of a main living area, three bedrooms, and a bathroom. Here's some pictures:


Our door.


My goofy info tag.


The living room.


The kitchen area.


Our...table.


Our vanity. Myspace emo mirror shot!


My room. It's a bit messy.


My desk. It's also a bit messy...


The most important thing in my room. And yes, that is a keyboard in my drawer with a bathing suit. Why? Because I'm a computer engineer, bitch.


Anyway, that's about all for today. I've got some other pictures to post over the next few days, so expect a few imminent updates.

Gone.


Monday, August 18, 2008

Back like Cracker Jack

Ugh...my hands smell like sponge. I just finished washing the pan that I used to make an egg and fried bologna sandwich.

But anyway, I am back at USC for the school year, and it feels great. I am in an apartment style dorm, which consists of a living area and sub rooms off of the main living area. It's really nice. So far I've just been chilling out with some people I know, playing games, and basically doing nothing. Enjoying the time I have off before classes start. It rained today, and I just sat in the common room eating a turkey, cheese, cilantro, and mustard sandwich, talking to one of my room mates, and watching the rain. It was glorious. I haven't been able to just watch the rain in a long time.

Mmm...gummy bears...

Anyway, some friends of mine made a couple podcasts the other day, and I am in the process of building a website to post them on, so that should be finished in a couple of days.

And about my previous post. I am going to continue with the blog. I think that day I was just having a hard time with my depression and I fell into a horrible mood and took it out on the blog. But I am going to continue as long as I have at least a few people interested.

Anyway, that's all for now. More about the room and school and all later.

Monday, August 11, 2008

I don't know why I waste my time with this blog.

Why do I think that my opinion matters so much that I post it for the world to see?

Does anybody even read it?

I just feel like this is a stupid waste. I know what I think, and if nobody's going to read my blog, there's no point in writing it down.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

All right. I'm obviously behind on the blog I said I was gonna write. I've been busier than I thought I was going to be. But it's coming. Just keep an eye out.

In the meantime, here's another picture.

Really? Ick...

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Seafood...

After seeing this box, I am truly terrified of coastal Asia.


I don't even want to see their minnows...


I possibly have more serious blog on the way for later tonight. If not tonight, then definitely tomorrow. Just a heads up.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I need to get out of this town.

This is my library card. Look carefully.

I know I live in the south, but I had no idea it was this bad...

Typo or not, this is inexcusable.

Monday, July 28, 2008

This are serious thread.


Okay, so I'm going to depart form my usual and do a more serious blog today. Just fair warning. But anyway, as some of you (and now all of you) know, I went to Warped Tour in Charlotte, NC on the fourteenth. Between then and now, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life and what direction I would like to see it assume.

I suppose I will start with the frustrations that brought this train of thought about in the first place. I am a very frustrated individual. There are lots of things that I want to run around and do like many other teenagers, but I know I can't. I want to get tattoos. I want piercings. I want to have sex. I want to drive my car fast and not care about the consequences. I want to dye my hair. I want to play my music obnoxiously loud just to see the reactions it elicits from strangers. I want to drink. I want to not give a shit what people think. Hell, I even want to smoke a pipe. But I can't. And it's frustrating. A lot of people would say, “Well, in fact, Hayden, you can. You just need to lighten up and enjoy your youth.” But it's not that easy. It's not that I'm letting my values and ideologies get in the way of my happiness. I just know that this is not who I am. I've always been a conflicted person. My body screams for me to do things that I know would be carnally satisfying and that I know I would enjoy and probably (probably) not regret later, but my mind severely impedes the physical enactment of these desires. My mind tells me that this is not what I really want. It tells me, without my permission, that this is not who I am. I do not really want to do those things. It's the most aggravating paradox. I want to do them, but I don't. Warped Tour (as well as an intense conversation with a good friend of mine afterwards) really got me thinking about a lot of these things.

During my time at Warped, I saw a lot of interesting hair, and a lot of even more interesting piercings, some of which I thought were tasteful, and some of which I knew would limit the wearer's future career to either being that of a tattoo/piercing artist or that of a criminal. Warped helped me realize that I'm trying to be part of the wrong crowd. I don't belong with these people. There are things that I want from life. Things that I will not be able to achieve by getting tattoos of Satan all over my body or gauging my ears up so large that the lobes swing parallel to the ground when I turn my head. I want success. I want to do great things. I want to impress people. I want to be remembered by others for something other than the extreme color of my hair. I have thought seriously about dying my hair, and I still may, but I'm scared. Not because I'm afraid of change, but because I don't want to do it for the wrong reasons. I want the attention that colored hair would draw, but I want it because of the qualities of my mind and actions, not because of the color of my hair. I want to be noticed because of who I am and what I do, not because of how radical I am. Unfortunately, we live in a world in which it is becoming increasingly harder and harder to be noticed without visually standing out. My mom always said, "If you want to stand out, be outstanding." Of course, I always scoffed and laughed and rolled my eyes at that, but I'm starting to agree with it more and more as I grow older.

I want a woman, too. I want somebody who will love me more than anyone else loves me. I want something real, though. I want a woman who really loves me for me. Not a woman who loves me because of my hair or because I rock hard and punch people at shows or because I “fuck the system” harder than everyone else. I just want a normal, loving relationship that is built on trust, compassion, and effort. The twice proceeding line brings me to the point of this blog. I don’t want to fuck the system. I want to be part of it. I really, truly want to be part of “the system.” I want to lead a “normal” life and settle down and have children. I want a “normal” wife who I can love more than myself and who will, in turn, love me more than herself. I don’t want to have to worry about my significant other leaving me for someone who has more extreme hair or cooler, more rebellious tattoos. I could talk on and on about what I want from a woman…but that’s a topic for another day. I want to be successful without having to destroy others. I know I can’t be successful without being driven and aggressive, but I don’t want to be successful at somebody else’s expense. I want to contribute something to the world. I want to do something that will impact lives. I want to do something greater than myself. I want to provide for my future children, but not just materially. But in order to do all this, I have to be part of “the system.” And you know, what? I’ve thought about it, and I don’t even mind. In fact, I believe that the system is there for a reason. The system protects us from each other and keeps things in line. All of the rockers that walk around and scream “anarchy” and think they’re all rebellious and tough don’t understand what that word really means. Anarchy would be worse than hell, and we all know it. The system is here to keep us from tearing each other apart. We would not survive without the system, and I find comfort in that. I want a normal life. I don’t want to have to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life, wondering if everything is going to be okay. Wondering if my wife loves me or if she loves the piercings. Wondering if I’ll ever find a decent job with the tattoos I have. Wondering if people judge me. Wondering why I feel like I have to be extreme to be noticed by people.

I want people to look at me and judge me by the impact I have had on the lives of others, not by my extreme appearance. It’s important that I say this, though. I do not think that young people need to worry so much about their future that they can’t enjoy the present. Please do not get me wrong. I fully support taking advantage of your youth. Have fun, do crazy shit, experiment. It's the only way to really learn for yourself. But for God’s sake, be careful. Don't do anything that could potentially destroy your future. I’m just getting to the point in my life where I’m going to have to take responsibility and act upon my sentiments and start leading a life of my own. I’ve been alive for almost two decades, and it scares the shit out of me. That’s a fourth of my life. Warped Tour also helped me realize how old I really am because I saw a lot of older people there, and none of them looked or acted like somebody that I would look up to, and I certainly wouldn’t want my future children looking up to these people. I don’t want to be like that. I want to contribute to society in a positive manner. I want people to acknowledge me out of respect, not shock or fear.

It’s frustrating, though. I don’t want to waste my youth worrying about this. I just want to skip ahead a few years.


Anyway, that's what's been on my mind lately. Here's a picture to change the mood a bit. I think it's an accurate depiction of my face during the contemplation of this topic.




Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Behandeln.

Ugh...I'm sitting at work and I am so bored. I just needed to take a break to do something besides cut pictures out in photoshop for a few minutes. So, I went on an adventure all the way over to the wall to my right, and I found this box. It's an ordinary box. With an extraordinary cautionary imperative printed upon it.



VORSICHTIG BEHANDELN!

My favorite part is the exclamation point.

"Handle with care, DAMN IT!"

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

There are no words adequate enough to express my excitement.

Blizzard announced Diablo 3 this past week.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go sit in my room and smile until it comes out.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

It's only a dream.

I had a very interesting dream the other night. Actually, I wouldn't so much call it a dream as I would a supernova of sheer subconscious power. In the dream, I was in some indeterminate, bland room, but in the room along with me was everybody I had ever met. Literally. Every single person that my brain could seem to remember me ever meeting was there. It was a lot of people, and it was a very big room. Some of the people seemed mildly happy, and some of them concerned. I was at the head of the room, with about two feet between me and the first row of people, so I began walking forward. As I walked towards the crowd, the people gave me room to walk through. As I walked through the crowd, people began reaching out and shaking my hand, patting my shoulders, and making other sorts of affectionate gestures. Some of the people were congratulating me for some unknown accomplishment and the others were asking things such as, "How are you doing," "Can I get you anything," or "Is the medicine working?" It was a little disorienting. The most confusing part of the dream, though, was that everybody really seemed genuinely sincere. I could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voice. There were no signs of guilt or nobility. It was just pure, loving concern. It was...amazing. And then somewhere about halfway through the room, I woke up, and reality set in.

So I shook it off, got up, and went to work.



I saw her driving today. I was on my way back home from Sonic, and I saw her as she was turning into a shopping center.

She was beautiful. Beautiful as she always was. I was captivated.

And for a second.

For the first time in months.

Just for a second.

My mind was calm.

It made me physically ill.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Oxymoronic is back from away.

Well, it's been almost a month since I've posted. Just to get it out of the way, I had the endoscopy and all that, and I'm fine. Just some internal hemorrhoids. Nothing to worry about. The endoscopy itself was quite uncomfortable, though. Just imagine a camera about the diameter of a nickel slithering about five feet into your rear. It sucked, but I got to watch, which almost made it worth it. It was actually kind of cool seeing my innards. It's not quite so gross when it's your own body.

But anyway, onto other things.

...

Okay, there are no other things. I'm back home now, with my first year of college behind me, and now I'm just sitting around doing nothing and more nothing with work in between. I made a 3.9 overall GPA for the year, which is pretty good considering that I thought I was going to fail two of my classes this past semester. I also just got accepted into the Honors College, which I guess is good. I'm going to have to take more classes, but it'll make things easier when it comes to getting into and getting money for graduate school later on.

I still miss her.

Terribly.

I've also recently bought GTA4 for teh PS3, so if any of you have it and would like to partake in some online hooliganism, send me your PSN name in an e-mail. Also, anyone with Brawl who wants to play online sometime can also send me their friend code in an e-mail. Anyone who has neither game but still wants to talk, feel free to send me an e-mail as well.

Ten more days until MGS4. I've never been more excited for a game in my life. The only time I remember being this excited for a game was when Windwaker was about to come out.

TTFN.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Major Update, Reporting for Duty!

Well, I know it's been a while, but I haven't had much time to do a blog here. I'm hoping to have more time to do this. I try writing in a paper journal, because I want to keep track of my college life, but I have a hard time doing that, too. I've been having kind of a rough time lately. About a month ago, my girlfriend of about eight months suddenly broke up with me. That was (and still is) fairly painful, and was a major disruption to my normal swing of things. I'm still having a pretty hard time with it a month later, because I still love her and even though I haven't talked to her since the breakup, I'm just generally having a hard time coping. It was just really sudden. It came out of nowhere. There was almost no indication that anything was wrong. Just one day, everything was different. The relationship had been going so well, and as far as I knew, it still was. I thought that I had finally, finally found a good, solid relationship, and it blew up in my face yet again.

I don't understand.

I'm starting to feel like being in a relationship is like standing on the beach holding a chemically unstable white phosphorus grenade in your teeth with the pin tied to a kite during a hurricane. No matter what I do, it always seems to end up being in vain, because for one reason or another, the girl eventually changes her mind. I just...I dunno. I don't know if it's worth it anymore. I don't know what to do. I can't even just get on with my life this time. I loved this girl so much. More than she or anyone else will ever know. I've said "I love you" to girls before, but I was young(er) and stupid. This is the first time that I've really truly meant it. I just wish her feelings had stayed the same.

I miss her so much...

But enough of my emo bitching. I'll be okay one day. Besides, this was supposed to be a blog about poop. I'm not going to beat around the bush here, I've been having a problem with rectal bleeding for the past two weeks. It's embarrassing, yes, but it's also the source of today's product picture. That statement has soooo much negative potential. I promise it's clean. But anyway, I went to the health center on campus, where they did a rectal exam and drew some blood. For those of you who have never had a rectal exam, pray to God that you never have to. It's the most invasive and humiliating thing I've ever experienced at the doctor. Anyway, they couldn't figure out what was wrong at the health center, so they sent me to the ER, where I spent the next seven hours (four of which I spent with an IV in my arm). I went to the health center at 2:30 and wasn't released from the ER until 11:30. Anyway, at the ER, they did yet another rectal exam, drew about four times more blood than the health center, and did a cat scan. Anyway, the doctor came to the conclusion that it was an internal hemorrhoid (since I wasn't experiencing any pain), told it would probably go away on it's own in a few days, and to follow up with the gastroenterologist. So I've been taking stool softeners for the past few days, and the bleeding has stopped, but the doctor at the follow up told me he wanted to do a camera-up-the-butt exam to check for polyps just to rule out other potentially dangerous problems. Like colon cancer. That kind of worries me a bit, but I'm sure it's just a hemorrhoid. I hope to God it's just a hemorrhoid. I'm not looking forward to the camera test. He said it's pretty uncomfortable and that it takes about fifteen minutes, but that he would walk me through it will be over as soon as the camera is out, so maybe it won't be so bad? Yes it will. But he's a pretty cool guy. Of all the people that could be snooping around in my ass, he's probably one of the more favorable ones.

So, now that I've talked forever, on to the picture. I mentioned the stool softeners I'm taking earlier. I was just looking at the bottle a minute ago, and I thought that this was pretty funny. It's almost like the company is joking around with their own product here. But, like reading rainbow, don't take my word for it. Here's a picture:



Yup...and they work, too. But that's enough from my mind today. TTFN.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Would you care for a stopsmokingrette?

My roommate recently found this box of Canadian cigarettes on the street, and honestly, we think it's hilarious.


We thought that there was something suspicious about the whole thing here, so we did some research and found out that the Canadian government just made it mandatory for all cigarette companies to put highly visible health warnings on the packages. Although I support their efforts to cut down on smoking, I think that this is kind of outrageous. Just look at some more of this stuff:


This is effectively the most self-defeating packaging I've ever seen. I think most people realize that cigarettes are not good for you. People smoke because they want to. Is all this really necessary? I dunno. I just find it really funny that there are directions on how to quit smoking in a box of smokes. It's very possible the most paradoxical thing I've ever seen.

Oh, and there's a calender in the bottom of the insert.

For no apparent reason.

TTFN.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

The first of many.

I like to take pictures of stupid or awkward product labels when I go into stores, and I recently thought, "What better way to waste my time then to show them to the world!" So here you go. I guess this idea was kind of inspired by engrish.com. I think it's funny that you don't even have to leave the country to find things that make you wonder about how oblivious people really are to our language and culture. So here's the first picture. I have more on the way. And if you haven't checked out my video blog yet, go do so if you so desire. I used to blog a lot on Myspace, but then Myspace started to suck, so I stopped. But it's good to be back on the blog scene. I love how we
all think that the whole world cares to hear our opinions on things so much that we slap them up on the internet for everyone to see. It's an interesting societal attitude that's developed over the past few years. Anyway, tah tah for now.

So are we eating the wild animals for breakfast...or what?
(How did this past the editors?)


The seals look so sad...
"We r not cerealz..."

Aren't pandas endangered?
This must be a luxury breakfast.